Blessing

My poor mother could not bear to be left
Alone with herself and baby made it 
Much much worse, incessant clamor of need
From inside herself and crying out loud

She regretted me, she regretted her
She wished I wasn’t, she wished she wasn’t
The inclination to death kept secret
Lurked behind display of love and peeked out

The terror of truth gets worse when denied
The predicament’s dire beyond soothing
It bites deep into the heart’s emptiness
From which there is no grief to bring it back

I pronounce the blessing of description
On birth that almost did not let me be