Amber #1

The longing I remember as pain 
has now become pleasure that is entrapped 
in the amber resin of time I hold
in my mind as I look back on myself

I complained, I protested, couldn’t shake
the desire that held me fast and would not
let me go to let me go on past how
I cherished it, my own imprisonment 

time is slow and fast all at once, this  long
have I known, as amber accretes in storm
as if it were still in the midst of rush,
sifts, sticks and surrounds, nestles close to fix

and also to rearrange, the last word
not yet said of the catapult to joy